The Sorrow and the Beauty

Screen Shot 2015-06-22 at 9.31.17 PM

A little Helen Frankenthaler for your thoughts?

Listening to the radio this morning, I was hit with a wave of sadness. There was brief coverage of the services in Charleston and the grief smacked me right in the face. Shitty things happen all the time. For some reason, this tragedy in Charleston feels different. It brings fresh sorrow every time I see a photograph of mourners or hear a family member speak of their lost loved one.

Something has to change. How can we as a country live like this?

I don’t have any of the answers. I don’t know what the next steps are. All I know is something is wrong and (unfortunately) I don’t think we, the American people, can rely on government to fix it.

For now, I am keeping the people of Charleston in my thoughts and in my heart. I hope they can feel the love so many are sending their way. Even in the face of such terribleness, there is always love.

Some brighter notes from the day:

This tragedy is opening up some very overdue dialogue around use of the Confederate Flag.

Yes – more Nina Simone. 

Wish I was in Paris for this exhibition. 

Um – I love this list and I love how wrong Fox was about a film with a female protagonist.

Lianne La Havas? Yes, please. 

I can’t claim to understand it all – but gotta give Taylor Swift props for standing up to Apple. Girls got balls.

Advertisements

Mack The Knife

Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 9.24.52 PM

It’s been awhile. Work, life, more work all kept me away too long.

I googled peonies (because I have a lovely bunch on my counter right now) and found this picture of Martha Stewart and it felt right. So here she is.

Apparently, a pregnant great white shark is making its way to NYC. As soon as I read that headline I started humming that old ditty about Mack. What started out as a harmless little hum turned into a Wikipedia rampage. Did you know Mack the Knife, aka Die Moritat von Mackie Messer, is a song composed by Kurt Weill with lyrics by Bertolt Brecht for their music drama Die Dreigroschenoper? What?!?!

The older I get the more I realize I don’t know anything. This is true about pretty much EVERYTHING, except about myself. The one thing I can really check in with and get on the same page on is myself. I don’t always like myself a lot of the time, let alone love myself. But at the end of the day, I’m kinda all I’ve got. Even if knowing myself means knowing that everything I know right now I might not even begin to really know tomorrow. Sigh. Getting older just makes you see how much more there is to learn. It’s exhilarating and scary – probably why that fear of death starts to kick in.

One thing I doubt we’ll ever TRULY know is what foods will actually make you live longer. That being said, I’ll happily believe this study that found coffee is really good for you.

I stumbled across this article trying to answer my own questions about acupuncture. I love acupuncture and have had some amazingly good sessions lately.

Still trying to find a good wedding guest dress. Found this delightful little store. Mostly I just want to lounge like this at a wedding.

This man LOVES his chihuahua. I totally get it, dude.

Alright, time to put the internet to bed and get (much-needed) sleep.

Sundaze

Screen Shot 2015-03-29 at 3.35.55 PM

Sigh. The weekend is never long enough. Why don’t we always have 3-day weekends again?

It’s tulip season! The pic above is of a tulip field. It looks like a painting. I bought a dozen red tulips today. They practically opened up the minute I got them into the apartment. Nature is insane.

Um. I watched a lot of movies this weekend. Top Netflix picks:

Weekend – a gorgeous love story. This film truly depicts what it is like to fall hard & fast for someone.

The Central Park Five – a tragic, but very important movie. This film is incredibly relevant today. It is a lesson I sometimes forget – always question the story you are told. Just because “the authorities” say it’s truth, you shouldn’t settle until you have reviewed the information for yourself.

This is a fascinating look at how couples interpret arguments. Been there.

Vintage Avengers plotlines? Yes, please!

San Francisco has a dog mayor, named Frida?!! I only know this because of this story about Virgin America’s Operation Chihuahua program. Not because I go around googling “dog mayors”…

Lonni Sue Johnson’s story in the New Yorker is heartbreaking – but also an inspiration.

Now back to enjoying the remaining hours of the weekend!

The Act Of Mourning

I have been thinking lots about mourning lately. Over the holidays I lost someone I loved very much. 

As someone who pushes pain down and ignores it for as long as possible – at least until it rears its ugly head and explodes at an inopportune moment, like oh say, your boyfriends birthday party or a major holiday – I have come to realize that taking the time to be present and mourn things lost is really important.

Generally, when we think about mourning it is related to someone. They have died or our relationship with them has died – i.e. a break up – and we miss them. It is about the person. How they were: what we loved about them, their company, their smell, their touch, etc. Saying goodbye to that person. It is profoundly sad.

I have begun to realize that really, for me, the mourning is more about change. Living and moving on beyond my experience of that person. My lost time with that person is sad. But I own that. The experience is mine. My memories of that experience/person and the way it shaped me live on in me. That is empowering. It is still a sense of loss – but more about growth then about pangs. It feels more honorable to the people you love in a way.

I was thinking about the definition of mourning and came across this:

MOURN

I really love seeing how the use of the word has declined. I wonder why that is? Just another word fallen to the wayside of our own diminishing vocabularies? Or is it related to some larger cultural shift away from grief? 

Sigh.